Hikaru! Let's play!
by White Rose1
Summary: “What’s wrong?” you small voice echoed through the room.“I don’t remember,” my voice is just as small and I tuck myself under the covers, “Go back to sleep. It’s nothing.”...Hikaru's months after Sai SPOILER!


Disclaimer: If I owned Hikaru no Go…do u think I would be writing on absolutely right!

_Hikaru! Let's play!_

I shot up in bed. Sweat was dripping from every pore of my body. I don't even remember the dream I had second before. I just knew I couldn't breathe, my mouth is dry. I glance across the room, the silence is unbreakable. I miss hearing your gentle breathing, occasional gasping as you sit up and look around. Only for me to just to see a ghost of smile in the moonlight lit room.

"What's wrong?" you small voice echoed through the room.

"I don't remember," my voice is just as small and I tuck myself under the covers, "Go back to sleep. It's nothing."

You make that noise that shows you know something is wrong. But how can I explain to you when I don't even know what is wrong. Even if you exist in my head, my eyes threaten to tear up for a moment.

That's what you would do if you were here. You're not. You haven't been for months. The room is filled with all my things. The Go board has be left alone. I can't even look at it, let alone pick up the stones. You loved Go. It brought you back from the dead. I never realized how blessed I was to have a sensei like you. Even if you were only known to me, you were still with me. Now, there is nothing breathing or living in the room but me, my hollow breathes remind me. I shake my head, pulling the covers off my sweating body. The night air even feels hot. I try to close my eyes, hoping for a chill to make me know that I'm still alive. I want to fall into dark bliss, maybe we'll meet again. But the darkness doesn't stop my thoughts.

Why do I feel like this? That old familiar empty feeling. Days come and go, nothing very exciting. My passion has become passive. The other pros won't stop calling, I really don't care what they want. They can wonder who you are for an eternity. I would give anything for you to come back. I tried continuing the path I started on, however I feel like I'm constantly missing something. However, deep within my heart, I know what I am missing. Then again, there is nothing to do but move forward, I just keep glancing over my shoulder. Only to see a ghost of a smile, the smile that encouraged me to play and wanted to play with me. That's all that matter the time we shared, the game, board, stones, and two people. Well, a person and a 1,000 year old sprit. I don't know if I should keep thinking about this. Because my heart just wants to turn around and run. Back to the times that we laughed, or you were eccentric, and the smile that made me feel like I could conquer the world.

_Hikaru! Let's play!_

You were more a kid than I was when it came to the game. It gave me strength, wings to fly high above the sky. I felt content. Nothing could ever change. The days would never end. We would play Go forever. Wasn't that what you told me? Sai.

In a daze I pull out the records from the shelves. They fall with a slight thud to the ground. I sit in front of the past games, like photos scattered on the floor. The only evidence that you did existed. Those games did happen. It was not something all in my head. It keeps me sane. The order of the stones as we placed them down, you sat across from me, pointing your fan at the spot. I filled the holes, but now you've left a hole and no matter how many stones I put down, it can't and won't ever be filled. Is that a tear? Will I always know them, will they change? Will I change into something I don't know? I didn't want the change. I really want the voice to come and drag me out of my memories.

_Hikaru! Let's play!_

The black and white pictures playing out in my mind, where did the colors go? Oh right, they left with everyone else. Why am I even here at times?

_Hikaru!_

Where did my passion, joy, and smiles go?

_Let's_

Oh yeah, they left with your disappearance.

_play_

So the filmstrip is on repeat now.

_Go_

So the filmstrip is on repeat now.

Goodbye

_Forever!_

Goodnight, _Sai_

WR: I know I shouldn't be writing short fics and working on my long fics. I'm sorry. I got inspired and I'm dedicating this one out to my chibi-chan who I am missing so much! HUGGLES! Its just a one-shot angst, nothing that special. I hope you enjoy it though.


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